Venting

I decided to take a detour from our routine. Wanting to replace my stolen coat and take advantage of a sale, I went to Old Navy. I was cutting it close in relation to naptime but was ecstatic upon finding what I needed. Baby J wasn't though. He was growing sleepy at an alarming rate. The line seemed to be progressing slowly, which I attribute mostly to my perspective. When I was second in line, I quickly realized that I didn't have an overactive imagination, but the clerk really was having troubles. The manager assisted her through every item. Then the manager left the register. Baby J was now nearly inconsolabe but we persevered... until she got to me. She had trouble ringing the coat up so she set it aside and rang up my other items. Then she attempted again to ring the coat up. She asked the manager for assistance but the manager apparently thought thus was the best time to teach her to fendfor herself, so she nonchalantly stayed five feet away and told her to "try something else". By this time, my boy was furious so I cancelled the transaction, rudely thanked the manager for not intervening and left. I should've been more patient and exhibited more self-control, but things like this seem to becoming much more common. And, not as a means to justify, my husband and I are going it alone. While we have many friends, my village is non-existent. I'm made to feel as if I must call in favors for such small daytrips or beg for help with projects. I know that I'm not alone, but after dozens of these encounters, I really wish for practical assistance.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will provide feelings of renewal and a more positive perspective. If not, for your own protection, please avoid my cynicism.

Baby J and His Bathtub Toys

Baby J is in the bathtub right now. His papa is giving him a bath. He is playing with his rubber ducky and tug boat. When he has the ducky in his hand, he says, Kack kack. When he has his boat in his hand, he says, Voom voom.

He is growing much too quickly!

Everything I Know, I Learned From Being A Mommie

You think you know everything, until you become a parent...

Then you realize how little you really know.

I had heard it a million times before. Parents would make comments and I would smugly think, They have no idea who they are talking to. I knew from my vast knowledge of how the universe works that breastfeeding past one year old was only to prolong a mother's emotional attachment to her child, that diapers should be changed every 2 hours, that children should sleep in their own beds from birth, that people carrying their children in carriers were hippies, and that I would be the best parent on earth.

To be fair, I thought I would be the best parent on earth, mostly because I never thought that I would be a parent. I had often imagined myself with offspring and that I would be as nurturing as educating. My child would grow to be a highly functional, well-developed asset to society. Ha!

Each day I am reminded how little I know about the universe, nevermind the miraculous workings of a small child's rapidly developing heart and mind. So, despite my worst efforts, I am now the BF, CD, CS, BW mommie. And I love it! Parenthood is a delightful learning experience.

The Great Oil Spill of 2009

It isn't often that the media doesn't report a story. It is usually a sign of a cover-up or that the general population has little interest in the subject. But when it is a subject of oil pollution, they are usually on board. The story you are about to read is completely true. The details are being reported accurately. Some of the details may be too upsetting for those with queasy stomachs.

The story begins in a small suburb in Illinois just miles off the coastline of Lake Michigan. I became privy to the story by being present for the event from beginning to end, although I was not presently aware that the drama was unfolding. I ventured out to take Baby J to the doctor in Gurnee, IL for his routine 15-month well visit. As usual, the doctor reviewed his development and general health. We left with a good report.

We left the facility at approximately 9:30 am and ventured naively into our day. A friend would be meeting us shortly for some shopping, but there was still time to drive the short distance across the tollway to the Starbucks for a coffee. My senses were delighted and I felt suddenly awake and more coherent as I slowly sipped the Caramel Macchiato.

We arrived at Target at 10:11 am. We were a bit late, but still excited to begin shopping with our dear friend Heather. Very little happened and we did not find what we had been anticipating. We left the store promptly at 10:50 am and drove to the TJMaxx at Entry J of Gurnee Mills Shopping Center. There were very few crowds, as the shopping day had barely begun. We perused the racks and found exactly what we anticipated. We even found a fleece dinosaur hat for Baby J during these frigid months.

The time was approximately noon. We settled into a table in the Food Courte. Heather and Baby J waited patiently as I rallied together a meal for the little guy and myself. Then Heather hunted for her next meal. We calmly ate, enjoying the company and the small talk. On the way out, Baby J noticed that the corridor we were leaving through was lined with mirrors. We stopped to let him play with his reflection, still not knowing what was about to happen. As I picked up my beautiful Saffron Roll Boxy Backpack by Petunia Pickle Bottom gifted by my dearest friend and adopted sister, the chaos began.

Dripping from it was a lemon-scented substance. I presumed that it was some cleaning product that had been used in the Food Courte. And, when we arrived home, I thought, What can I do about it right now? What's done is done. So, I laid down for a nap with Baby J and neglected the clean-up. The rest of the day was business as usual and the bag was left to marinate.

The next morning, Baby J and I woke early. I gathered the diaper bag and began emptying it only to find an empty bottle of lemon-flavored cod liver oil. Oops! This cannot be good!!

I deserted the entire contents of the bag into the washing machine. Five times it was washed, each time with a different concoction. Insanity, I thought, is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for different results. The results, sadly, remained the same. Cod liver oil and the lemon scent wafted throughout the house. It was too late. The bag and its contents were destroyed. It now rests in peace in the shallow grave of our garbage can.

It was a beautiful bag, but only a possession. It is just sad that it had to become the damaged mediator between myself and the cod liver oil. Lesson learned.

Sweet Potato Truck

** Please accept my sincerest condolensces for the prior blog. I have successfully removed it. It was meant to be silly and in no way distasteful. I am truly sorry. **

While Baby J is sleeping much more contentedly, we are still about 9 months behind most parents. Because his sleep had been interrupted so much in the first year of his life, he doesn't yet sleep through the night. I am mostly okay with this, because I usually go to bed shortly after he does and wake up when he does.

But last night something eerily unusual happened.

He went to sleep at his usual time-- about 8 pm. I retired for the evening at 9:17 pm. I was surprisingly restless. It was surprising because my boy was contentedly sleeping in his own big boy bed. He traditionally begins the night there and joins us when he wakes up between 1 am and 3 am. I tossed and turned for hours before finally looking at the clock to realize that it was 4 am and I still hadn't heard a peep.

I frantically thought, Oh no. Something must be wrong! To my pleasant surprise, nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was alright. And I returned to my bed to enjoy a few more hours of blissful and well-deserved sleep.

He stayed cozily sleeping in his bed until 6 am! At that time, I heard soft talking coming from his bed. There he sat, happily talking to himself, waiting for me to swoop him up. This morning was unrealistically ideal for a toddler. He walked around and played by himself. Just before he started getting ready for his early morning nap, I found him in the kitchen with a sweet potato. There he sat pretending to drive the root vegetable with his tiny hands while making Vrooom sounds.

I love this boy more each day.

Remembering Days of [Not So] Long Ago

In the deepest part of the night, I often wake for a few moments of quiet solitude. The moon shines dimly creating shadows between the openings in the shades. One evening not so long ago, I heard whispering beside me. In the middle of our mattress, baby J lay awake. He was quietly cooing and watching the lines of his fingers in the dimly lit room. He didn't notice me. He just contentedly and quietly entertained himself until he finally drifted back into slumber.

As he lay there, it seemed almost reminiscent of his days still warmly tucked inside my womb. Because of the many complications encountered during my pregnancy, I had ultrasounds frequently. During those times, he would move slowly within his cramped quarters. He somehow seemed so comfortable. Those days of watching him through the window in my womb were highlights in our time together.

When still pregnant mommies mention that they long to deliver, I fondly remember those peaceful moments that he and I exclusively shared without interruption before his birth.

Mommie-dom truly is delightful. Every moment holds a welcome surprise.

Less Sleepy Mommie to Go Around

I used to be a very active person. That was when I was young and single. I was healthy and a healthy weight, yet, I still thought I was fat. When I finished high school and started college, I gained some weight. When I got married, I gained more weight. When I had baby J, I gained more weight. I reached my heaviest weight and realized that I was not fat. While I did not meet society's criteria for thin, my BMI (body mass index) was in the healthy, normal range.

At 28 years old, I have to make a change.

So, on November 9th, I set a realistic goal. I resolved to lose 27 lbs (for reasons that I don't wish to publish online for the world to read). So, weekly I have been weighing in to follow my progress.

My morning weigh-in revealed a 10 lb loss in only 16 days! I am ecstatic. While this is a great start, I know it won't last. My progress won't usually be so rapid, but for now I am excited that I have already lost 37% of the first phase of my "Healthy Mommie" goal.

My new motto is something often said by Suze Ormon, "When we feel less than, we spend/eat more than." Remember, you are more than, so treat yourself as such.

WANTED: Experienced Weaners

Hello all! I know that you are all here because the job market is slim right now, but this isn't a paying gig. This is a search for experiences from mommie's who have been where I am and want to help.

Baby J is 14 months now. By no means do I want to wean him completely. There are still so many benefits for him to continue as a breastfed baby, but I would love advice on how to help him not to want to nurse so often. According to our doctor he is still a full-time nurser, which we don't have a problem with. However, it makes it difficult for his caregiver when I am at work. Ideally, I would like to make nursing a signal that bed and naptimes have arrived and, if he hurts himself (he's quite clumsy, a trait from his mommie), to provide comfort.

I am prepared, so please, fire away...

Oh, please also note that if I have to choose between a FT nurser and a completely weaned baby, I choose nurser.

He can make a sick mommie smile.

Today, I was sick.

My husband stayed home to help me, especially with baby J. Poor baby J hasn't been feeling so well either (because of sneaky dairy). But, he still found the energy to amuse me.

I have a little wooden chair which my dad built for my dolls. He has adopted it as his. He has also taken to the nintendo controller. So, earlier, he sat himself down in the doll chair with the controller in his hands.

Then, just a few minutes ago, he was fussy and sleepy. So, he dragged the boppy to me. Now, he is contentedly asleep on my lap.

It really is amazing how, despite feeling so crummy, he can still make me grin. How did I function as a sicky before my boy?

Sleepy mommie gets in shape...

Although financially things are a little tight right now, I have decided that I need some "me" time to escape from reality. I have always loved physical releases, so, I joined the gym. I am having a really great time because so many of my friends are always appearing there, so I have a lot of support.

Today was quite a day, though. I finished my day in the ministry at about 3 pm and talked with a friend until 4, grocery shopped until 5, picked up new gym shoes, and ran home. Then I frantically made dinner while putting the groceries away, washed my workout pants, fed the husband and the boy. I sat down to nurse baby J for a few minutes and before I knew it, he was sound asleep on my lap. I placed him in bed, changed, searched for socks, laced and put on my new gym shoes, and frantically ran out the door.

While driving to the gym, I nearly thought, didn't I just have enough of a workout?!? But, then I took into account that I had made plans with a friend and still needed some mommie time. I made it to the gym, walked/jogged 1 mile and biked 3.5 miles. All the while, the baby slept for the husband. I feel better now and only hope that he stays asleep while I crawl into bed with him.

Goodnight all.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

HFW says it best, so I'll let you read it there...

http://www.undercovermother.net/

On the move...

This picture depicts every photo taken recently. I remember fondly asking parents of young children, "Is he/she walking?" Being said parent myself, I now know they don't walk. From the moment baby J learned that one foot goes in front of the other, he has been a sprinter. It isn't any wonder why we were created with such resiliency. It truly is a humorous sight to see an uncoordinated new sprinter loose his balance only to see him bounce back onto his feet like the Weebles I played with as a child. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. Baby J, on the other hand, does fall down, but he happily leaps back to his feet to see how quickly he can race me to his next objective.

His objective is usually the trash can. He loves to throw things away. But once they get inside, he is all too quick again to express his opinion on this matter. I can't wash the toy fast enough.

When he was immobile, I longingly yearned for the time when he would assert some independence. Since he has done so, I spend most moments wishing that he'd let me tie him up again and carry him in the sling.

And that, dear friends is the moral of mommie-dom: Weebles may wobble, but mommies don't sit down.

Early to bed, early to rise...

Baby J started walking this past week. He also had a growth spurt and appears to have a few more teeth erupting. So, his sleeping habits have been unusually, um, unusual. He's been napping well and sleeping well. For instance, tonight he decided to nap (???) at 4 pm. It is now 7:22 pm and he's still asleep. And he is intent on sleeping. I don't want to wake him now, but then again, he'll have no problem waking us at 5 am. Since his nights have improved, he's decided that that is the best time to be "regular". So, we wake at 5 am; wait for him to do his business; then he peacefully returns to sleep until 7 am.

Family life definitely requires flexibilty, on a mommie's part that is. The saying goes- "Early to bed, early to rise, makes baby healthy, stealthy, and wise. Early to bed, early to rise, makes mommie have sleepy eyes."

Decaffeinated Mommie- A Tragedy

As a result of my eagerly sought after desire for rest, I have found solice in my unrequited love for coffee. A true romantic, I anticipated each day the dance that the cream and sugar would have with the freshly brewed beans. I say cream because I am truly infatuated with cream, otherwise known as half & half. The colour that it creates as it blends into the rich brew is a comfort. The aroma that it creates arouses the senses. But the taste, ah, the taste has always been a reward to me. Now, more than ever, my fatigued brain craves it all.

However, my son seems nearly recovered from just shy of 9 months of hysteria-induced insomnia. The solution seems to have been a dairy allergy. Being a true fan of natural nourishment, he still nurses upon his request. While it is not nearly as frequent as during infancy, it is often enough that my dairy consumption affects him adversely. For this, I began to express my deep affection for the unnamed manufacturers of a product referred to as "non-dairy" by their own label.

As a trusting person, I did not second-guess their claim. I simply consumed their product gratefully. All the while, I was not able to mask this lie from my son's digestive system. Because recovery from his most recent dairy consumption was not happening, I began to investigate. To my dismay, the culprits are the very ones who offered me comfort on those tiring mornings. So, to the makers of shmInternational Deliars, at least I know where we stands. It is my deepest desire that we are able to reconcile our failed relationship. Until then, please know that I think of you often. Soon the wounds will heal. I will learn to love again. But for now, I endure.

Our version of a bedtime prayer... Just for fun!

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray my son will sleep deep.
And if he wakes before I do,
I pray, oh Lord, that I not stew.
So as I rest my weary head
And hear him sleep beside my bed,
Please let his rest pay our family heed,
Because we all know that it's sleep we need.

Sleep tight all!

408 days- not a bad record

Our routine plays out very similarly one day to the next. Especially since Baby J began eating solids, it has just seemed practical to have this nighttime tradition. We eat dinner together, then he makes a mess. The mess is usually significant enough that a bath is the easiest solution. In the 408 days since his birth, he pretty much does the same thing too. We wash him while singing our homemade wash song. He plays. Then he pees.

In the 408 days since his birth, he has never pooped in the bathtub. I know that this is a fortunate coincidence for me considering that most babies do, at least occasionally.

Today, I was bragging about this fact. And today I learned the true intelligence of my son.

He must have overheard me because about 5 minutes into his bath, papa began calling frantically for back-up. And, there, floating in the tub was a present just for me.

Moral: Never underestimate the intelligence of a child.

He is already a hundred steps ahead of me. I fear how smart he will be when he's five.

"...there is going to be a resurrection..."

Wednesday morning seemed like a wonderful day. The sun was out and the birds were chirping. The chill that had filled the air seemed to have disappeared. It almost felt like springtime. My boy and I prepared for our ministry, as usual. I had already had my cup of coffee and the boy had eaten his oreo breakfast (see previous post). We arrived at the Kingdom Hall early for arrangements. It was going to be a good day.

It is sad how quickly life changes. My phone rang and I irritatingly answered it; wondering why my husband would be calling me when he knew that I was about to get out of the car. He had called because he had something important to tell me. On Wednesday morning, almost ready to walk out the door to go to school, a dear friend died of an enlarged heart. He had always been an extremely active boy and for the 15 years of his life, seemed so healthy (He is the boy to the far right). My heart sank deeply into my chest. I almost vomited. "How does this happen?" I mouthed that sentiment in prayer repeatedly. I know why bad things happen and I know that they will not happen forever.

I hung up the phone and walked into the Kingdom Hall. A dear sister saw the tears in my eyes and hugged me tenderly. She asked if she could help. I told her what happened and, although, she did not know this young boy, she looked dizzy. While I wanted so much to be in my own house and to go back to bed indefinitely, I was so grateful to be there, the place that is my home.

As I fondly remember this young man, I look forward to seeing him again in the paradise earth. I look forward to knowing that all those that I know and love are truly healthy. I look forward to enjoying beautiful days and not worrying that some dark shadow of badness might sweep over them.

But, for now, I will do the thing that is most necessary. I promise to work harder to be loving to everyone, stranger or friend. I love you all! Please stay strong so that we can share forever together. And please forgive me, as Jehovah God forgives us all, for my imperfections.

Please keep the Sigrist family in your prayers, so that they might endure this tribulation unitedly.

(Job 14:14,15; Psalm 37:29; Acts 24:15)

Baby's breakfast

This morning was business as usual. We woke up early. We have passed the two week mark for GF, DF, EF, so we decided to re-introduce the least likely culprit, eggs. (While his sleep habits have changed very little, he has had some positive results from the diet change. For instance, he suffers from gas significantly less often.) So, I followed our morning routine.

Diaper change, check. Baby gates, check. Bathroom door closed, check.

I began taking the morning breakfast materials out. I cannot imagine how happy this boy is to have eggs return, but I know that I could barely contain my own excitement. I began breakfast. Then I cleaned the high chair up and toted it to the dining room. I was busily occupying myself that I hardly noticed that the baby was already taking care of himself. (It is really true, they grow so quickly.)

He had made himself comfy on the kitchen floor with two fists full of chocolate sandwich cookies. If they had contained eggs, milk, and flour, I could have justified it as Bill Cosby would have. But, no, they were dairy-free, egg-free, and gluten-free. Absolutely no nutritional value.

Sorry to let you down, Dr. Huxtabel.

Peaceful Thoughts

It is almost 10 pm now. My baby has been asleep for nearly two hours. I know that I should rest too, but sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark gives me some much needed time for meditating. He has a stuffy nose still, so I've propped him up to sleep. I can hear the short, deep breaths he takes. And, because a ribbon of light peaks through the door, I can see that he has his arms and legs sprawled out on the expanse of the bed. I know that he should be in his own bed by now, but we've grown accustomed to his presence. I know that I don't sleep soundly with him beside me, but I'm not convinced I would sleep any better without him so close.

At the birth of my nieces and my nephew, I remember saying how miraculous life is. I remember the flood of emotion that swept over me upon cradling their tiny torso and gazing upon their tiny appendages. I never thought that love could be that intense.

As I sit here on the edge of my bed, I realize that life is a miracle. But, an even greater miracle is the love felt for someone whom I have known such a short time. It is almost as if I have known him my entire life.

Good night, my prince. I love you so very much.

A Night in the Life

7:33 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
9:30 pm Mommie asleep soundly in bed
9:59 pm Baby awakens upset
10:03 pm Mommie's soft singing and gentle pats aren't working. Time for mama's milk
10:09 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
10:11 pm Baby awakens upset
10:13 pm Immediately nuzzles for mama's milk
10:14 pm Mommie texts Papa who is out of town
10:18 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
10:23 pm Baby awakens upset
10:24 pm Mommie sits up and tries gently rocking baby. He won't calm down this time.
10:26 pm Mommie texts Papa again
10:44 pm Baby asleep soundly in Mommie's arms
10:53 pm Papa calls Mommie because he didn't hear his phone earlier
10:54 pm Baby awakens; Mommie lays him on the bed and gently pats him while Papa sings on speakerphone.
10:55 pm Baby is still upset
11:04 pm Baby is now getting his second wind and begins playing on the bed.
11:05 pm Mommie and baby leave bedroom and go to play until sleepiness returns. Meemaw joins us and offers to take baby downstairs.
11:16 pm Mommie hears a giant crash and barrels down the stairs to find Meemaw and baby wrapped up in the pull-out sofa bed like a gordita. Mommie picks up a very startled baby and helps Meemaw to her feet.
11:18 pm Mommie, Meemaw, and baby return to baby's room to play.
11:23 pm Mommie cries
12:58 am Baby begins playing with swing. Mommie puts baby in swing.
1:04 am Baby asleep soundly in swing
1:06 am Mommie carries swing to her room so she can sleep too
4:02 am Baby awakens startled
4:07 am Mommie nurses baby to sleep; continues to do so until every 15 minutes
6:00 am Baby is awake and playful
Following Night:
10:14 pm Mommie is glad Papa is home. How would I do this without him?

I'd like to thank everyone but Kanye West

It's 8:14 pm on a Friday night and I am excitedly blogging about, no, not the movie I saw or the restaurant that we ate at, but the fact that my son is asleep! I have always wanted to be a mommie. I suppose that I have led a pretty laid back / uneventful life, so such an evening is not extraordinary to me. That is excepting the fact that my son is peacefully asleep at 8:18 pm.

I feel as though I should treat this as award show; if I did, it would go something like this: " I'd like to thank my son for this wonderful show of gratitude. I'd also like to thank my husband and mother and father and all my dear friends for their support. Also, a shout-out to GF, DF, EF Koala Rice Krispies that keep the little tikes appetite satisfied. And, of course, the endurance and ever present support from Jehovah God, who has tirelessly put up with my tantrums, crying fits, spurts of anger, and insanity due to sleep deprivation."

Last night, after he had fallen asleep nestled next to me, I placed him on his mattress situated directly next to our bed. He fell asleep with much difficulty and awoke at 2 am. It was sooooo refreshing for me to have 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. However, I did awake to the sound of his head thumping against our bedframe as he sleep crawled off his mattress. After that, I think he felt a bit traumatized because he'd only return to sleep after nursing.

Tonight, I thought ahead. I wrapped my gigantic pregnancy pillow around his mattress. He won't sleep crawl / escape so easily again!

Well, pray for us tonight. I think that we might have some resolution with regards to food sensitivities. Thanks again for checking in!

Gloomy Monday.

Today was an especially eventful day. Yesterday, we spent a fun evening with friends playing games and eating dinner. When we arrived home, my poor boy could not breathe out of his tiny snout. Cats! I love them! But, my poor son does not. That is why for the past year, ours have found a new home in our posh indoor porch. They are well cared for, but not nearly as they deserve. Last night, as I sat in the recliner nursing my poor boy to the point of near exphicsiation (snuffy nose, remember?), I resigned myself to the fact that our annoying kitten, Willy, and my kindred spirit cat, Lyli, should find new homes.

So, besides the chill in the air, the gloomy clouds, and the frosty plants, my heart hangs heavy. Another sacrifice well worth the health of my son.

Murphy's Law becomes Mommie Mania

It is now Saturday, day 5 of our experiment. Things are going well. We have yet to see improvement in Sy's sleep patterns, but eating less processed foods can only be a step in the direction of a healthier family.

My greatest discovery since joining Mommie Mania, also called Murphy's Law, what is least likely and most inconvenient is most likely to occur.

For example, in the world of cloth diapering, leaks rarely occur. In an effort to downsize the load which we carry, I began eliminating the "spare" outfit. Oops! That was my first mistake... The CDs (cloth diapers) must have seen me take this action, because they are now less absorbent. Lol!

Next example, have a child with sleep problems who wants to sleep desperately? Have a million errands to run? As a mom, first priority is baby. As
usual, I spend hours trying to help him sleep. Finally, when we give up and decide to run errands, get packed up into the car, drive 5 minutes to the grocery store, and park the car just in time for those heavy eyelids to close. Poor baby.

So, with MM ( Mommie Mania) at its peak, at least we are adopting a healthier lifestyle which can only help us deal with stress more efficiently.

Day Three...

I think that I am actually starting to feel better without dairy, gluten, and/or eggs in my diet.

We had a playdate today with some mommies in the congregation. 4 mommies and 6 little ones. For the kids, mac-n-cheese with polish sausage. For the mommies, italian chicken and pasta. I had forethought in the matter and decided to try something new at the health food store. It is called Penne & Chreese. Wow, we won't make that mistake again. There may be many things that can be faked, but cheese is not one of them. The noodles were tasty, though. So, if his problem turns out to be gluten-related, at least there are some yummy rice choices.

After a day with children filling our home, James offered to treat us to dinner. So we went to Ichiban's Japanese Restaurant. I'm learning how inconvenient eating out can be in our current situation. During the beginning portion of our meal, I found myself carefully sifting through the fried rice to remove every fragment of egg. Josiah patiently (LOL) waited as I did so. Then, he furiously stuffed every last piece of rice into his tiny little cheeks. It was cute, until I let him sip my water. I'll let my audience decide how that turned out.

Well, that was our day. Nothing insanely eventful. Just hoping to see some positive sleep results soon. Over and out...

GF Oreos

There is something wonderful and comforting and almost divine about processed flour and sugar. The texture, the taste, the satisfying sensation they create when eaten. If it was for me, I would cope with the side effects of food sensitivities, but for my son, I would eat dirt. Yes, dirt would become my main staple in life.

As I scanned the shelves at Earthly Goods (a coy name for food that is not processed or bleached, in essence, dirt), I actually considered weaning. If we weren't still breastfeeding, I could still be eating normally while he adjusted to this realm dubbed GF, DF, and egg-free. He wouldn't know the difference, after all, he has only been eating solids for 6 months. On the other hand, I have been eating solids for 21 years (well, maybe not, but let's imagine that it has only been that long). So, as I worn my son cozily in our sling and reviewed the shelves contemplating whether to purchase snacks for him alone or for the both of us, it hit me.

I love food. I love Oreos and a tall glass of cold milk. I love iced lattes with lots of whipped cream on top. But, more than that, I love the feeling of my son snuggled tightly against me just before he dozes off at night. I love the ability to provide comfort for him while he is sick. I love picking him up after he has fallen from his wobbly legs and bumped his head. During those times, only mommie can provide what he needs. And, for that, I will make the sacrifice.

Once he weans, though, we are having a snack party with lots of goodies!

Sleep deprivation and food elimination

We have tried many methods with few results. We have even tried sleep behavior modification. So, starting today, we are looking into the possibility of food sensitivities. The nasty nine most common food intolerances are nuts, dairy, egg whites, gluten (the protein found in most grains), shellfish, soy, and I forget the rest. We are starting with the three most common in our house- dairy, egg whites, and gluten.

Today is our first day of food elimination. We usually start with scrambled eggs or oatmeal, but today, we are having rice and bananas.

This morning I realized that I had must have lost my mind last night. According to what my husband tells me, I did. Thankfully it is a new day-- one that I can anticipate such silly shananigans as this one.

So, for now, I will try to remind myself of the delightful boy that I enjoy during the day to appease this long journey through sleep deprivation and food elimination.

A tired mommie's journey

I am not much of a blogger. I don't enjoy hearing my voice inside my own head on a regular basis, nevermind seeing it in writing. But I need a place to let it all out. I'm not sure that it will be read by anyone, but I hope to enjoy my journaling time. So, here is our story:

My son was born in September 2008. He is a wonderful boy. His personality shines, as do his eyes. He gets more compliments on his eyelashes than any other person on the planet.

When he was born, he had some problems. Born 6 lbs 2 oz and only 5 lbs 10 oz two weeks after birth, we got a lot of grief from our pediatrician. But once he latched onto life, he made up for it quickly. With a little help from our lactation consultant, he gained weight rapidly and became a Gerber baby after all.

While new parenthood is always a struggle, he made life easy. He ate well, slept well, and giggled often. Then, at 4 months old, things changed. He had once slept for 5 hour stretches. Suddenly, he was sleeping for 30-minute intervals. He would wake hysterically. Something was wrong!

We spoke to our pediatrician and other parents and googled. With little result, we began to condition ourselves to the nights in store. We weren't happy about it. We struggled during the day to get by. We stopped discussing the matter, because it was constantly implied that we were at fault. You just need to let him cry it out was the most common response. Other responses included that he is manipulating you and it is because he is breastfed/co-sleeping. As intuitive parents, we knew that more was happening.

At 10 months, we finally found support. We took him to a local sleep clinic for an overnight study. Sure enough, he had moderate sleep apnea. The cause? The doctor's best guess was acid reflux or GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). My husband and I were in a quandry. The symptoms of GERD usually appear much earlier and are more prominent in infancy. He had no symptoms during the daytime, so she emphasized that he likely had silent reflux. This is a condition that shows no symptoms. Besides his apnea and restless nights, we had little to go on. So, we started him on generic Zantac.

After about 4 weeks, he miraculously recovered. He began sleeping through the nights again! Then the other symptoms began. He began having loose stools, sometimes 3 per day. The sleep doctor said that it was unlikely that the medication was the culprit, so we continued him on it. He returned to the sleep clinic for a follow-up sleep study. His apneas had disappeared almost completely and his sleep was restful.

Until...

A week later, we were back in the same position as before. When we mentioned it to the sleep doctor, she said that the results were in and that he was fine. The implication, regardless of what we were experiencing at home during the night, he was fine. What?!?

So, now here I am...

He is now 12 months old. He sleeps for short intervals. He takes generic Zantac. He has loose stools. We are $3000 poorer.

And when people hear this, their response? Just let him cry it out.

Here is an idea, while I have some quiet, I am going to try crying it out.