A tired mommie's journey

I am not much of a blogger. I don't enjoy hearing my voice inside my own head on a regular basis, nevermind seeing it in writing. But I need a place to let it all out. I'm not sure that it will be read by anyone, but I hope to enjoy my journaling time. So, here is our story:

My son was born in September 2008. He is a wonderful boy. His personality shines, as do his eyes. He gets more compliments on his eyelashes than any other person on the planet.

When he was born, he had some problems. Born 6 lbs 2 oz and only 5 lbs 10 oz two weeks after birth, we got a lot of grief from our pediatrician. But once he latched onto life, he made up for it quickly. With a little help from our lactation consultant, he gained weight rapidly and became a Gerber baby after all.

While new parenthood is always a struggle, he made life easy. He ate well, slept well, and giggled often. Then, at 4 months old, things changed. He had once slept for 5 hour stretches. Suddenly, he was sleeping for 30-minute intervals. He would wake hysterically. Something was wrong!

We spoke to our pediatrician and other parents and googled. With little result, we began to condition ourselves to the nights in store. We weren't happy about it. We struggled during the day to get by. We stopped discussing the matter, because it was constantly implied that we were at fault. You just need to let him cry it out was the most common response. Other responses included that he is manipulating you and it is because he is breastfed/co-sleeping. As intuitive parents, we knew that more was happening.

At 10 months, we finally found support. We took him to a local sleep clinic for an overnight study. Sure enough, he had moderate sleep apnea. The cause? The doctor's best guess was acid reflux or GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). My husband and I were in a quandry. The symptoms of GERD usually appear much earlier and are more prominent in infancy. He had no symptoms during the daytime, so she emphasized that he likely had silent reflux. This is a condition that shows no symptoms. Besides his apnea and restless nights, we had little to go on. So, we started him on generic Zantac.

After about 4 weeks, he miraculously recovered. He began sleeping through the nights again! Then the other symptoms began. He began having loose stools, sometimes 3 per day. The sleep doctor said that it was unlikely that the medication was the culprit, so we continued him on it. He returned to the sleep clinic for a follow-up sleep study. His apneas had disappeared almost completely and his sleep was restful.

Until...

A week later, we were back in the same position as before. When we mentioned it to the sleep doctor, she said that the results were in and that he was fine. The implication, regardless of what we were experiencing at home during the night, he was fine. What?!?

So, now here I am...

He is now 12 months old. He sleeps for short intervals. He takes generic Zantac. He has loose stools. We are $3000 poorer.

And when people hear this, their response? Just let him cry it out.

Here is an idea, while I have some quiet, I am going to try crying it out.