Thursday, December 31, 2009

Venting

I decided to take a detour from our routine. Wanting to replace my stolen coat and take advantage of a sale, I went to Old Navy. I was cutting it close in relation to naptime but was ecstatic upon finding what I needed. Baby J wasn't though. He was growing sleepy at an alarming rate. The line seemed to be progressing slowly, which I attribute mostly to my perspective. When I was second in line, I quickly realized that I didn't have an overactive imagination, but the clerk really was having troubles. The manager assisted her through every item. Then the manager left the register. Baby J was now nearly inconsolabe but we persevered... until she got to me. She had trouble ringing the coat up so she set it aside and rang up my other items. Then she attempted again to ring the coat up. She asked the manager for assistance but the manager apparently thought thus was the best time to teach her to fendfor herself, so she nonchalantly stayed five feet away and told her to "try something else". By this time, my boy was furious so I cancelled the transaction, rudely thanked the manager for not intervening and left. I should've been more patient and exhibited more self-control, but things like this seem to becoming much more common. And, not as a means to justify, my husband and I are going it alone. While we have many friends, my village is non-existent. I'm made to feel as if I must call in favors for such small daytrips or beg for help with projects. I know that I'm not alone, but after dozens of these encounters, I really wish for practical assistance.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will provide feelings of renewal and a more positive perspective. If not, for your own protection, please avoid my cynicism.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Baby J and His Bathtub Toys

Baby J is in the bathtub right now. His papa is giving him a bath. He is playing with his rubber ducky and tug boat. When he has the ducky in his hand, he says, Kack kack. When he has his boat in his hand, he says, Voom voom.

He is growing much too quickly!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Everything I Know, I Learned From Being A Mommie

You think you know everything, until you become a parent...
Then you realize how little you really know.

I had heard it a million times before. Parents would make comments and I would smugly think, They have no idea who they are talking to. I knew from my vast knowledge of how the universe works that breastfeeding past one year old was only to prolong a mother's emotional attachment to her child, that diapers should be changed every 2 hours, that children should sleep in their own beds from birth, that people carrying their children in carriers were hippies, and that I would be the best parent on earth.

To be fair, I thought I would be the best parent on earth, mostly because I never thought that I would be a parent. I had often imagined myself with offspring and that I would be as nurturing as educating. My child would grow to be a highly functional, well-developed asset to society. Ha!

Each day I am reminded how little I know about the universe, nevermind the miraculous workings of a small child's rapidly developing heart and mind. So, despite my worst efforts, I am now the BF, CD, CS, BW mommie. And I love it! Parenthood is a delightful learning experience.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Great Oil Spill of 2009

It isn't often that the media doesn't report a story. It is usually a sign of a cover-up or that the general population has little interest in the subject. But when it is a subject of oil pollution, they are usually on board. The story you are about to read is completely true. The details are being reported accurately. Some of the details may be too upsetting for those with queasy stomachs.

The story begins in a small suburb in Illinois just miles off the coastline of Lake Michigan. I became privy to the story by being present for the event from beginning to end, although I was not presently aware that the drama was unfolding. I ventured out to take Baby J to the doctor in Gurnee, IL for his routine 15-month well visit. As usual, the doctor reviewed his development and general health. We left with a good report.

We left the facility at approximately 9:30 am and ventured naively into our day. A friend would be meeting us shortly for some shopping, but there was still time to drive the short distance across the tollway to the Starbucks for a coffee. My senses were delighted and I felt suddenly awake and more coherent as I slowly sipped the Caramel Macchiato.

We arrived at Target at 10:11 am. We were a bit late, but still excited to begin shopping with our dear friend Heather. Very little happened and we did not find what we had been anticipating. We left the store promptly at 10:50 am and drove to the TJMaxx at Entry J of Gurnee Mills Shopping Center. There were very few crowds, as the shopping day had barely begun. We perused the racks and found exactly what we anticipated. We even found a fleece dinosaur hat for Baby J during these frigid months.

The time was approximately noon. We settled into a table in the Food Courte. Heather and Baby J waited patiently as I rallied together a meal for the little guy and myself. Then Heather hunted for her next meal. We calmly ate, enjoying the company and the small talk. On the way out, Baby J noticed that the corridor we were leaving through was lined with mirrors. We stopped to let him play with his reflection, still not knowing what was about to happen. As I picked up my beautiful Saffron Roll Boxy Backpack by Petunia Pickle Bottom gifted by my dearest friend and adopted sister, the chaos began.

Dripping from it was a lemon-scented substance. I presumed that it was some cleaning product that had been used in the Food Courte. And, when we arrived home, I thought, What can I do about it right now? What's done is done. So, I laid down for a nap with Baby J and neglected the clean-up. The rest of the day was business as usual and the bag was left to marinate.

The next morning, Baby J and I woke early. I gathered the diaper bag and began emptying it only to find an empty bottle of lemon-flavored cod liver oil. Oops! This cannot be good!!

I deserted the entire contents of the bag into the washing machine. Five times it was washed, each time with a different concoction. Insanity, I thought, is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for different results. The results, sadly, remained the same. Cod liver oil and the lemon scent wafted throughout the house. It was too late. The bag and its contents were destroyed. It now rests in peace in the shallow grave of our garbage can.

It was a beautiful bag, but only a possession. It is just sad that it had to become the damaged mediator between myself and the cod liver oil. Lesson learned.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sweet Potato Truck

** Please accept my sincerest condolensces for the prior blog. I have successfully removed it. It was meant to be silly and in no way distasteful. I am truly sorry. **

While Baby J is sleeping much more contentedly, we are still about 9 months behind most parents. Because his sleep had been interrupted so much in the first year of his life, he doesn't yet sleep through the night. I am mostly okay with this, because I usually go to bed shortly after he does and wake up when he does.

But last night something eerily unusual happened.

He went to sleep at his usual time-- about 8 pm. I retired for the evening at 9:17 pm. I was surprisingly restless. It was surprising because my boy was contentedly sleeping in his own big boy bed. He traditionally begins the night there and joins us when he wakes up between 1 am and 3 am. I tossed and turned for hours before finally looking at the clock to realize that it was 4 am and I still hadn't heard a peep.

I frantically thought, Oh no. Something must be wrong! To my pleasant surprise, nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was alright. And I returned to my bed to enjoy a few more hours of blissful and well-deserved sleep.

He stayed cozily sleeping in his bed until 6 am! At that time, I heard soft talking coming from his bed. There he sat, happily talking to himself, waiting for me to swoop him up. This morning was unrealistically ideal for a toddler. He walked around and played by himself. Just before he started getting ready for his early morning nap, I found him in the kitchen with a sweet potato. There he sat pretending to drive the root vegetable with his tiny hands while making Vrooom sounds.

I love this boy more each day.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Remembering Days of [Not So] Long Ago

In the deepest part of the night, I often wake for a few moments of quiet solitude. The moon shines dimly creating shadows between the openings in the shades. One evening not so long ago, I heard whispering beside me. In the middle of our mattress, baby J lay awake. He was quietly cooing and watching the lines of his fingers in the dimly lit room. He didn't notice me. He just contentedly and quietly entertained himself until he finally drifted back into slumber.

As he lay there, it seemed almost reminiscent of his days still warmly tucked inside my womb. Because of the many complications encountered during my pregnancy, I had ultrasounds frequently. During those times, he would move slowly within his cramped quarters. He somehow seemed so comfortable. Those days of watching him through the window in my womb were highlights in our time together.

When still pregnant mommies mention that they long to deliver, I fondly remember those peaceful moments that he and I exclusively shared without interruption before his birth.

Mommie-dom truly is delightful. Every moment holds a welcome surprise.