Our version of a bedtime prayer... Just for fun!

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray my son will sleep deep.
And if he wakes before I do,
I pray, oh Lord, that I not stew.
So as I rest my weary head
And hear him sleep beside my bed,
Please let his rest pay our family heed,
Because we all know that it's sleep we need.

Sleep tight all!

408 days- not a bad record

Our routine plays out very similarly one day to the next. Especially since Baby J began eating solids, it has just seemed practical to have this nighttime tradition. We eat dinner together, then he makes a mess. The mess is usually significant enough that a bath is the easiest solution. In the 408 days since his birth, he pretty much does the same thing too. We wash him while singing our homemade wash song. He plays. Then he pees.

In the 408 days since his birth, he has never pooped in the bathtub. I know that this is a fortunate coincidence for me considering that most babies do, at least occasionally.

Today, I was bragging about this fact. And today I learned the true intelligence of my son.

He must have overheard me because about 5 minutes into his bath, papa began calling frantically for back-up. And, there, floating in the tub was a present just for me.

Moral: Never underestimate the intelligence of a child.

He is already a hundred steps ahead of me. I fear how smart he will be when he's five.

"...there is going to be a resurrection..."

Wednesday morning seemed like a wonderful day. The sun was out and the birds were chirping. The chill that had filled the air seemed to have disappeared. It almost felt like springtime. My boy and I prepared for our ministry, as usual. I had already had my cup of coffee and the boy had eaten his oreo breakfast (see previous post). We arrived at the Kingdom Hall early for arrangements. It was going to be a good day.

It is sad how quickly life changes. My phone rang and I irritatingly answered it; wondering why my husband would be calling me when he knew that I was about to get out of the car. He had called because he had something important to tell me. On Wednesday morning, almost ready to walk out the door to go to school, a dear friend died of an enlarged heart. He had always been an extremely active boy and for the 15 years of his life, seemed so healthy (He is the boy to the far right). My heart sank deeply into my chest. I almost vomited. "How does this happen?" I mouthed that sentiment in prayer repeatedly. I know why bad things happen and I know that they will not happen forever.

I hung up the phone and walked into the Kingdom Hall. A dear sister saw the tears in my eyes and hugged me tenderly. She asked if she could help. I told her what happened and, although, she did not know this young boy, she looked dizzy. While I wanted so much to be in my own house and to go back to bed indefinitely, I was so grateful to be there, the place that is my home.

As I fondly remember this young man, I look forward to seeing him again in the paradise earth. I look forward to knowing that all those that I know and love are truly healthy. I look forward to enjoying beautiful days and not worrying that some dark shadow of badness might sweep over them.

But, for now, I will do the thing that is most necessary. I promise to work harder to be loving to everyone, stranger or friend. I love you all! Please stay strong so that we can share forever together. And please forgive me, as Jehovah God forgives us all, for my imperfections.

Please keep the Sigrist family in your prayers, so that they might endure this tribulation unitedly.

(Job 14:14,15; Psalm 37:29; Acts 24:15)

Baby's breakfast

This morning was business as usual. We woke up early. We have passed the two week mark for GF, DF, EF, so we decided to re-introduce the least likely culprit, eggs. (While his sleep habits have changed very little, he has had some positive results from the diet change. For instance, he suffers from gas significantly less often.) So, I followed our morning routine.

Diaper change, check. Baby gates, check. Bathroom door closed, check.

I began taking the morning breakfast materials out. I cannot imagine how happy this boy is to have eggs return, but I know that I could barely contain my own excitement. I began breakfast. Then I cleaned the high chair up and toted it to the dining room. I was busily occupying myself that I hardly noticed that the baby was already taking care of himself. (It is really true, they grow so quickly.)

He had made himself comfy on the kitchen floor with two fists full of chocolate sandwich cookies. If they had contained eggs, milk, and flour, I could have justified it as Bill Cosby would have. But, no, they were dairy-free, egg-free, and gluten-free. Absolutely no nutritional value.

Sorry to let you down, Dr. Huxtabel.

Peaceful Thoughts

It is almost 10 pm now. My baby has been asleep for nearly two hours. I know that I should rest too, but sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark gives me some much needed time for meditating. He has a stuffy nose still, so I've propped him up to sleep. I can hear the short, deep breaths he takes. And, because a ribbon of light peaks through the door, I can see that he has his arms and legs sprawled out on the expanse of the bed. I know that he should be in his own bed by now, but we've grown accustomed to his presence. I know that I don't sleep soundly with him beside me, but I'm not convinced I would sleep any better without him so close.

At the birth of my nieces and my nephew, I remember saying how miraculous life is. I remember the flood of emotion that swept over me upon cradling their tiny torso and gazing upon their tiny appendages. I never thought that love could be that intense.

As I sit here on the edge of my bed, I realize that life is a miracle. But, an even greater miracle is the love felt for someone whom I have known such a short time. It is almost as if I have known him my entire life.

Good night, my prince. I love you so very much.

A Night in the Life

7:33 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
9:30 pm Mommie asleep soundly in bed
9:59 pm Baby awakens upset
10:03 pm Mommie's soft singing and gentle pats aren't working. Time for mama's milk
10:09 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
10:11 pm Baby awakens upset
10:13 pm Immediately nuzzles for mama's milk
10:14 pm Mommie texts Papa who is out of town
10:18 pm Baby asleep soundly in bed
10:23 pm Baby awakens upset
10:24 pm Mommie sits up and tries gently rocking baby. He won't calm down this time.
10:26 pm Mommie texts Papa again
10:44 pm Baby asleep soundly in Mommie's arms
10:53 pm Papa calls Mommie because he didn't hear his phone earlier
10:54 pm Baby awakens; Mommie lays him on the bed and gently pats him while Papa sings on speakerphone.
10:55 pm Baby is still upset
11:04 pm Baby is now getting his second wind and begins playing on the bed.
11:05 pm Mommie and baby leave bedroom and go to play until sleepiness returns. Meemaw joins us and offers to take baby downstairs.
11:16 pm Mommie hears a giant crash and barrels down the stairs to find Meemaw and baby wrapped up in the pull-out sofa bed like a gordita. Mommie picks up a very startled baby and helps Meemaw to her feet.
11:18 pm Mommie, Meemaw, and baby return to baby's room to play.
11:23 pm Mommie cries
12:58 am Baby begins playing with swing. Mommie puts baby in swing.
1:04 am Baby asleep soundly in swing
1:06 am Mommie carries swing to her room so she can sleep too
4:02 am Baby awakens startled
4:07 am Mommie nurses baby to sleep; continues to do so until every 15 minutes
6:00 am Baby is awake and playful
Following Night:
10:14 pm Mommie is glad Papa is home. How would I do this without him?

I'd like to thank everyone but Kanye West

It's 8:14 pm on a Friday night and I am excitedly blogging about, no, not the movie I saw or the restaurant that we ate at, but the fact that my son is asleep! I have always wanted to be a mommie. I suppose that I have led a pretty laid back / uneventful life, so such an evening is not extraordinary to me. That is excepting the fact that my son is peacefully asleep at 8:18 pm.

I feel as though I should treat this as award show; if I did, it would go something like this: " I'd like to thank my son for this wonderful show of gratitude. I'd also like to thank my husband and mother and father and all my dear friends for their support. Also, a shout-out to GF, DF, EF Koala Rice Krispies that keep the little tikes appetite satisfied. And, of course, the endurance and ever present support from Jehovah God, who has tirelessly put up with my tantrums, crying fits, spurts of anger, and insanity due to sleep deprivation."

Last night, after he had fallen asleep nestled next to me, I placed him on his mattress situated directly next to our bed. He fell asleep with much difficulty and awoke at 2 am. It was sooooo refreshing for me to have 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. However, I did awake to the sound of his head thumping against our bedframe as he sleep crawled off his mattress. After that, I think he felt a bit traumatized because he'd only return to sleep after nursing.

Tonight, I thought ahead. I wrapped my gigantic pregnancy pillow around his mattress. He won't sleep crawl / escape so easily again!

Well, pray for us tonight. I think that we might have some resolution with regards to food sensitivities. Thanks again for checking in!

Gloomy Monday.

Today was an especially eventful day. Yesterday, we spent a fun evening with friends playing games and eating dinner. When we arrived home, my poor boy could not breathe out of his tiny snout. Cats! I love them! But, my poor son does not. That is why for the past year, ours have found a new home in our posh indoor porch. They are well cared for, but not nearly as they deserve. Last night, as I sat in the recliner nursing my poor boy to the point of near exphicsiation (snuffy nose, remember?), I resigned myself to the fact that our annoying kitten, Willy, and my kindred spirit cat, Lyli, should find new homes.

So, besides the chill in the air, the gloomy clouds, and the frosty plants, my heart hangs heavy. Another sacrifice well worth the health of my son.

Murphy's Law becomes Mommie Mania

It is now Saturday, day 5 of our experiment. Things are going well. We have yet to see improvement in Sy's sleep patterns, but eating less processed foods can only be a step in the direction of a healthier family.

My greatest discovery since joining Mommie Mania, also called Murphy's Law, what is least likely and most inconvenient is most likely to occur.

For example, in the world of cloth diapering, leaks rarely occur. In an effort to downsize the load which we carry, I began eliminating the "spare" outfit. Oops! That was my first mistake... The CDs (cloth diapers) must have seen me take this action, because they are now less absorbent. Lol!

Next example, have a child with sleep problems who wants to sleep desperately? Have a million errands to run? As a mom, first priority is baby. As
usual, I spend hours trying to help him sleep. Finally, when we give up and decide to run errands, get packed up into the car, drive 5 minutes to the grocery store, and park the car just in time for those heavy eyelids to close. Poor baby.

So, with MM ( Mommie Mania) at its peak, at least we are adopting a healthier lifestyle which can only help us deal with stress more efficiently.

Day Three...

I think that I am actually starting to feel better without dairy, gluten, and/or eggs in my diet.

We had a playdate today with some mommies in the congregation. 4 mommies and 6 little ones. For the kids, mac-n-cheese with polish sausage. For the mommies, italian chicken and pasta. I had forethought in the matter and decided to try something new at the health food store. It is called Penne & Chreese. Wow, we won't make that mistake again. There may be many things that can be faked, but cheese is not one of them. The noodles were tasty, though. So, if his problem turns out to be gluten-related, at least there are some yummy rice choices.

After a day with children filling our home, James offered to treat us to dinner. So we went to Ichiban's Japanese Restaurant. I'm learning how inconvenient eating out can be in our current situation. During the beginning portion of our meal, I found myself carefully sifting through the fried rice to remove every fragment of egg. Josiah patiently (LOL) waited as I did so. Then, he furiously stuffed every last piece of rice into his tiny little cheeks. It was cute, until I let him sip my water. I'll let my audience decide how that turned out.

Well, that was our day. Nothing insanely eventful. Just hoping to see some positive sleep results soon. Over and out...

GF Oreos

There is something wonderful and comforting and almost divine about processed flour and sugar. The texture, the taste, the satisfying sensation they create when eaten. If it was for me, I would cope with the side effects of food sensitivities, but for my son, I would eat dirt. Yes, dirt would become my main staple in life.

As I scanned the shelves at Earthly Goods (a coy name for food that is not processed or bleached, in essence, dirt), I actually considered weaning. If we weren't still breastfeeding, I could still be eating normally while he adjusted to this realm dubbed GF, DF, and egg-free. He wouldn't know the difference, after all, he has only been eating solids for 6 months. On the other hand, I have been eating solids for 21 years (well, maybe not, but let's imagine that it has only been that long). So, as I worn my son cozily in our sling and reviewed the shelves contemplating whether to purchase snacks for him alone or for the both of us, it hit me.

I love food. I love Oreos and a tall glass of cold milk. I love iced lattes with lots of whipped cream on top. But, more than that, I love the feeling of my son snuggled tightly against me just before he dozes off at night. I love the ability to provide comfort for him while he is sick. I love picking him up after he has fallen from his wobbly legs and bumped his head. During those times, only mommie can provide what he needs. And, for that, I will make the sacrifice.

Once he weans, though, we are having a snack party with lots of goodies!

Sleep deprivation and food elimination

We have tried many methods with few results. We have even tried sleep behavior modification. So, starting today, we are looking into the possibility of food sensitivities. The nasty nine most common food intolerances are nuts, dairy, egg whites, gluten (the protein found in most grains), shellfish, soy, and I forget the rest. We are starting with the three most common in our house- dairy, egg whites, and gluten.

Today is our first day of food elimination. We usually start with scrambled eggs or oatmeal, but today, we are having rice and bananas.

This morning I realized that I had must have lost my mind last night. According to what my husband tells me, I did. Thankfully it is a new day-- one that I can anticipate such silly shananigans as this one.

So, for now, I will try to remind myself of the delightful boy that I enjoy during the day to appease this long journey through sleep deprivation and food elimination.

A tired mommie's journey

I am not much of a blogger. I don't enjoy hearing my voice inside my own head on a regular basis, nevermind seeing it in writing. But I need a place to let it all out. I'm not sure that it will be read by anyone, but I hope to enjoy my journaling time. So, here is our story:

My son was born in September 2008. He is a wonderful boy. His personality shines, as do his eyes. He gets more compliments on his eyelashes than any other person on the planet.

When he was born, he had some problems. Born 6 lbs 2 oz and only 5 lbs 10 oz two weeks after birth, we got a lot of grief from our pediatrician. But once he latched onto life, he made up for it quickly. With a little help from our lactation consultant, he gained weight rapidly and became a Gerber baby after all.

While new parenthood is always a struggle, he made life easy. He ate well, slept well, and giggled often. Then, at 4 months old, things changed. He had once slept for 5 hour stretches. Suddenly, he was sleeping for 30-minute intervals. He would wake hysterically. Something was wrong!

We spoke to our pediatrician and other parents and googled. With little result, we began to condition ourselves to the nights in store. We weren't happy about it. We struggled during the day to get by. We stopped discussing the matter, because it was constantly implied that we were at fault. You just need to let him cry it out was the most common response. Other responses included that he is manipulating you and it is because he is breastfed/co-sleeping. As intuitive parents, we knew that more was happening.

At 10 months, we finally found support. We took him to a local sleep clinic for an overnight study. Sure enough, he had moderate sleep apnea. The cause? The doctor's best guess was acid reflux or GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). My husband and I were in a quandry. The symptoms of GERD usually appear much earlier and are more prominent in infancy. He had no symptoms during the daytime, so she emphasized that he likely had silent reflux. This is a condition that shows no symptoms. Besides his apnea and restless nights, we had little to go on. So, we started him on generic Zantac.

After about 4 weeks, he miraculously recovered. He began sleeping through the nights again! Then the other symptoms began. He began having loose stools, sometimes 3 per day. The sleep doctor said that it was unlikely that the medication was the culprit, so we continued him on it. He returned to the sleep clinic for a follow-up sleep study. His apneas had disappeared almost completely and his sleep was restful.

Until...

A week later, we were back in the same position as before. When we mentioned it to the sleep doctor, she said that the results were in and that he was fine. The implication, regardless of what we were experiencing at home during the night, he was fine. What?!?

So, now here I am...

He is now 12 months old. He sleeps for short intervals. He takes generic Zantac. He has loose stools. We are $3000 poorer.

And when people hear this, their response? Just let him cry it out.

Here is an idea, while I have some quiet, I am going to try crying it out.