Mommiehood: Feeling His Pain

Since becoming a mommie, I've often had the opportunity presented to me to recount my own childhood.

I've shared many of those experiences. Many of them are lessons I learn as I see baby J learn them.

Today, we shared another of those. As a child, I remember vividly the excitement of having plans. Knowing that a friend was coming over or an outing to the zoo was enough to brighten the gloomiest days. I would eagerly anticipate and remind myself repeatedly and sometimes even have countdowns. And then the phone would ring and my mom would break the bad news... cancelled.

My mom would always comfort me and remind me that everything would be okay. She would even make alternate plans, but it just wasn't the same. And I honestly believed that she had no idea how much it hurt...

... until today.

This afternoon baby J had a playdate. When I told him about it this morning, he was so excited. He kept telling his papa and even using his little buddy's name. "Park.... park." Then, the dreaded text arrived. My heart immediately sank. I think that it affected me more that it did him. How can I explain this to a 19-month old? He isn't going to understand. He was so excited!

That is when the epiphany arrived. How often I had told my mom that you don't know what it feels like. And she would look at me and tell me that it was okay. Then we would spend that time together.

It still broke my heart to see those sad little eyes when he awoke from his nap only to be on his way back home. But we spent our afternoon together. And we can never have too much time together, right?